Porn Planet

2006-04-15T09:29:00.000+08:00

Porn Songs:
F-U-C-k,
can we do it?
F-U-C-K
yes we can!
F-U-C-k
we must do it!
F-U-C-k
for porn planet

Sing in the tune of 'bob the builder'
Porn Planet's song!!!!

Masturbate mor if u tink u siao.....but even i tink its damn sick lah...haiz

2006-04-15T00:15:00.001+08:00

Hiies,so long neh post liao.A veh funnie joke 4 all ye ppl:
Record holder for da longest dick on da world:so and so.He holds the record of having a 5m dick.you shd noe wad occupation he is doing.FIREMAN of coz....he has such a long toot and of coz he has alot of water stored in his bladder,lemme tell u how he urinate. He wud stand in fronta da toilet bowl 4 hrs,until his 1st drip of urine drip outta his urethra[[yahs,i learning da porn chpt in skool so my porn vocab suddenly so gd]].so erms...he owaes haf sum leftova urine in his bladder b/c he took soooooooo long 2 urinate tt his body is owaedy starting 2 produce mor urine.he had neh really cleared his bladder in his whole life.So wif a lil stored inside his bloadder,he's ready 4 any emergency fire.juz take out his pants,and...pull..oh yahs,i have yet 2 tell u abt how his toot is positioned.b/c its 2 loooong,it is naturally coiled up lyk a snake & pertruding outta his adominal area.so when there's fire,he juz haf 2 uncoil it & shoooot.........he can shoot up 2 50 storeys if he's really urgent.if he's not urgent the least 3 storeys.but he's handy tho,natural fireman.yups.and tok abt his testicals.its so stretched out across his toot tt it looks lyk a fried egg tt is pulled @ the ends.or the longest roti prata.2 get an idea of how it look lyk,ppl wif PS2 or XBOX and haf da game 'SILENT HILLS-THA ROOM' can c it.there's a mysterious neh ending long toot goin in & out a corner of a wall.go there & hit it how mani tymi t will still mov.ttz so-and-so's toot lorz.coomon sense.

its not tt he's been born lidat.its his ancestors.they all hold world records of having the longest toots.'its in our blood,i duno how it started'his greatest grandad said.but poor so-and-so,2 get really serious,so-and-so's parents and grandparents pulled his toot everntym they got the chance.thay oso applied losening creamevery nite 2 his toot 2 make it appear longer.but their efforts had shown off.5m leh..wad chey.so let's congratul8 SO-AND-SO!!!!

2006-04-15T00:15:00.000+08:00

2006-01-21T14:56:00.000+08:00

Hi ppl,we created a few poems..pls enjoy:
Its porn
Its horny
Its painful
Its healthy
U will sweat u will breathe heavier
u will say'ah'
then 'oh'
then 'woo'
then 'wow'
everyone needs it... ...and its sex!!!!!

Its sex,its sex
its the funnest thing ever
its sex,its sex
you may need a condom
its sex,its sex
everybody needs it
YEAH!!!!!

2006-01-03T15:46:00.000+08:00

PPPP recommand:EAT MOR PRAWN NOODLES.2dae i hereby declare prawn noodles 2 b renamed as 'porn noodles'.in cl,porn noodles sound da same same which sound lyk-sia mian.u shd noe sia mian sounds lyk:down ther.those porn wud tink wad im tinking abt.so da food of da yr is porn noodles.Porn researcher found out if u eat porn noodles,& u tink of porn,u will b mor porn.So,porn wannabes,porn-a-holics,EAT MOR PORN NOODLES!!

2005-12-04T11:13:00.000+08:00

PPPP tokin lah:We created 2 new vocab words of porn.1st-hydroPORNics.da meaning:Veh porn lyk HYDRO[?].Next,aeroPORNics.meaning:not porn @ all.
Uses in a sentence:Hydropornics ppl will fuck the fucking fucker while aercpornics ppl will juz stand there & let da fucker fuck him/her.

2005-11-01T17:36:00.000+08:00

Porn Songs:

(Follow the tunt of 'twinkle twinkle lil stars')

Wriggle,wriggle lil sperm,
How i wonda wad u r,
In the testes ur so lil,
lyk a tadpole in a river,
Wriggle Wrigglr lil sperm,
How i wonda wad u r.

(Follow da tune of 'London Bridge is fallin down')

My tootie is fallin down,
Fallin down,
Fallin down.
My tootie is fallin down,
bcoz of bush fire.
Stick it bak wif (glue & tape,3tym)
Stick it bak wif glue & tape,
But it didn't work.
Use cement 2 (strengthen it,3tym)
Use cement 2 strengthen it,
& its stronger.

(follow the tune of 'my body flows ova the ocean...'thingy)

My birdie flew out of its owner,
My birdie flew ova the sea,
My birdie dropped in2 de ocean,
oh br bak my birdie 2 mi,
(Chorus)
*Br bak, o br bak,o br bak my birdie 2 mi,ME!(2 tym)
My birdie floats ova de ocean,
my birdie is trying 2 fly,my birdie is now decomposing,
o br bak my fuckin birdie,E
(Chorus)

(Juz read it in threes cuz got no familiar tune)

When i was a cute lil boy,
My grandma bought miie 2 lil toys,
2 big balls hanging on the wall.
So i call it my two things.

*(C)My two tins,my two tins,
cum n play wif my 2 tins(2 tym)

There was a gal livin nxt door,
we used 2 play on the kitchan floor.
She play queen,
n i play king,
then she play wif my 2 tins.

*(C)

her skirt went down n my pants went down,
we jump on the bed n do tt tin,
she said 'ooh' n i said 'aah',
Then she played wif my 2 things

*(C)

(Follow the tune of 'my grandfathe's clock)

My grandfatha's cock was too large 4 his wife,
So it stood ninety yrs w/o shuang.
It was taller by 1/2 than the ol' man himself ,
though it weigh not mor than 1gram.
It was produced on the morn on the dae tt he was born,
N he was proud it is so GIGANTIC,
But its squashed,mashed,shinged by his wife,
Juz bcoz he found a gal wif a large opening.
& he stuffed preserved it in a big ol' jar,
While he hopes his cock will grow again(BIG LAH).

(Chapter song,no tune de)

This is chpt 1,the story has begun,
Tis is chpt 2,the gal is beautiful,
tis is chpt 3,i tie her 2 a tree,
tis is chpt 4,i fuck her 2 the floor,
tis is chpt 5,i lick her ******,
tis is chpt 6,i poke her wif my toot,
tis is chpt7,i fil lyk im in heaven,
tis is chpt 8,my sperm enter her egg,
tis is chpt 9,now she is my wife,
tis is chpt 10,now the story ends.

(Follow thw tune of'toxic')

(Boy)Baby carn u c,
My cock is big,
do u want 2
Fuck wif mi,
Im so lonely,so spend the nite wif mi.

*(C)On the bed,veh shuang,
Both of us sae 'ooh' n 'ahh',
the story has begun.

(Gal)Wif the taste of semens is veh nice,
Has ur sperm enter my egg?
i enter ur Penis Paradise,
I'm addicted 2 u,
dun u noe u're gd @ fucking.
*(C)

Happi wif al these songs?hope u enjoy!

2005-08-27T14:16:00.000+08:00

Once Upon a tym,there was a gal called Hua Mulan.Her name's meaning is "Wooden t0ot." She went out 2 fite.She found out that her toot was bleeding.(Due 2 period)But she duno.She went 2 c a physician,the physician wanted 2 stop the bleeding.then the doc sewed up the toot.The physician wasn't a liscence one but mulan didn't noe tt.So the bleeding continued inside the toot.Day aft dae,the toot grew bigger & bigger.Mulan was sooo embarrassed tt she started poking 'it'.Then it exploded w/o warning.A tsunami of blood & sperm emerge & flooded the whole of China.& the whole world was destoryed & ttz how dinosaurs becum extinct as they drowned hopelessly in her blood & semens.(Wonda y she got semens when shez a gal?Bcoz boiz do it wif her & sum semens is injected & remain there.So she contained sum semens in her to0t.)

2005-08-27T14:11:00.000+08:00

We have an incredible porn person joining us @ porn planet.She is Jessie,an ex-porn captain.She scored 9/10 4 the porn quiz.So..we decided her 2 b the porn captain.Let's warmly welcum her!!

2005-08-17T16:53:00.000+08:00

PPPP anouncing:As u all noe,the porn test is ova.Overall we haf four membas joining aft the porn test came out.Quite a disappointment but @ least we haf ppl joining wad...Hui Ping,Wei Ying,Kevin,Victor.*CLAP*k?Bwai.btw,visit the claz blog of 6/8 6/9.Juz go 2 the links corner & click ez?ok..go now!& tag!

Lil Red Riding T0ot-Porn Version

2005-08-10T14:40:00.000+08:00

Long ago,when porn was not created,there was a gal named lil red riding toot.One dae,she decided to visit her long lost toot & gif it sum mor semens.Her toot was located in a cottage in a dark forest named black forest.She had 2 hide her toot coz she was the onli gal wif toot & did not wanna look weird & those trees can cut the toot in2 half.There is a legend that if a toot is found in the black forest,the owner will b punished.Lil red riding toot,being lil,duno anitin abt the punishment.So she juz hid her toot there.She squeezed semens fr the pump thingy bside the semens well & started out towards the dark forest.On the wae,she met a tokin gal blakforest.the blakforest asked 4 directions 2 da cottage.'i m goin 2 da cottage 2!Cum wif me!'lil red riding toot said.So they went off to the cottage togatha.Then,the gal dissapered.lil red riding toot ran to the cottage as quickly as her legs can bring her.In the cottage,she saw the girl fucking her toot."What the fuck are you doing?"."FUCKING"the girl said.Lil red riding toot thoughtit was fun and installed the toot to become a boy and started to"play" with the girl.Then,they name all the the perveted things-PORN-from that day onwards,porn is created and toots is allowed in black forest because the trees saw how interestin it was.THE END

2005-07-21T16:32:00.000+08:00

PORN PRESIDENT WANNA TOK:Anotha nickname 4 toot is oso LITTLE JOHN(JOHN)or DICK.THINGY is oso anotha less popular name 4 toot.Juz general knowledge tt u'll wanna noe.But juz use toot.if a fwen sae ani of tis words,juz make fun of em n sae da meaning.

Jokesss

2005-07-13T17:32:00.000+08:00

PORN PRESIDENT:My fwen sms tis 1.I thot it was pretty funny,so i share it with u'll.
Wife:Suggest a password 4 our computa
Hubby:Key in Penis
Wife types in Penis,falls off chair laffin after computa replies:REJECTED NOT LONG ENUFF!

New Members

2005-07-11T17:47:00.000+08:00

HAPPY!!!!Porn President:We have new members!!!1 is Hui Peng,the otha 1 is Wei Ying.Both fr junyuan Sec 1 lah. i hav given them da post as porn General of Porn Planet.They will provide more porn jokes.(practically they hav da same job as mi.Heck care lars)We will WARMLY invite them in...*clap*kk?buai

2005-07-11T15:55:00.000+08:00

PORN PRESIDENT WANNA TOK A-GAIN:Nobody actually tagged on my BLOG!!!sad case though.Onli my cousin and bro tell mi abt it.So...i decided tt the closing date 4 signin up is....August 10th. tis date may change coz i will discuss wif papp & prpp 1st.So....if u wanna join in,BETTA TAG NOW!!I M GETTING IMPATIENT!!!(wad a lame pharse.Wadeva)

2005-07-06T18:34:00.000+08:00

PORN PRESIDENT WANNA TOK:Those hu REALLY wanna join pls tag ur name on da board,coz i created all da questions liaos & da e-mail is ready 2 send 2 any participants.PLSSSSS JOIN>>> pretty puh-lease wif nice suga on top?

Porn Planet Quiz

2005-07-01T18:10:00.000+08:00

ATTENTION!!!!OUR PORN QUIZ!!!!:
1)Wad we mean by the term,'Blackforest'?
2)Wad we mean by:T0oT
3)Wad is anotha term 4 'sex'tt we normally use?
4)Draw da symbol we use 4 boiz toots & galz toots(usable wif keyboard).
5)Huz da founders of Porn Planet?
6)Wadz our moto?
7)Write down 1 verse of da Porn birdae song
This is da 1st 7 questons 4 our porn quiz.Any1 hu wanna try ur luck pls tag ur e-mail.We will catagorize it then send all da 10 questions 2 ye.if u get @ least 4 correct,then u qualify,dependin on ur marks.thx.de otha few questions will cum out soon.

2005-06-29T16:08:00.000+08:00

PPPP wants 2 tok:if u r a member,u muz sing happi birdae songs lyk tis:happy birdae 2 u(SHING!SHING!)2X,happy birdae 2 ___(person's name)[SHING!SHING!],happy bridae 2 u(SHING!SHING!) .............if u r a member,u had betta sing tis song on ur fwen's birdae!!!my own birdae is cumin soon!!!

Snow Toot & da seven toots

2005-06-08T13:00:00.000+08:00

Hi!!!i m Kelly,2dae i wanna tell u a porn story which we 3 sumhow created:Once upon a tym(well,muz put this phrase rite?),there was a beatiful princess called snow toot.She had 7 toots.Now,its very rare 4 a gal 2 haf 7 toots.So,her stepmotha is jealous of her."mirror,mirror on da wall,hu has da most toots of all?"her stepmotha asked her magic mirror."well,looks lyk snow toot has da most toots of all!"da mirror replied."damn!ttz y her motha named her snow toot!Her toots r as white as snow!2 tink i onli got 5 toots!"her stepmotha shouted.she hired a hunter 2 chop off all of snow toot's toots.looking at how beatiful snow toot was,da hunter couldnt bear 2 kill her.he told her 2 escape,den collected seven toots fr wild deers 2 give da queen.
Snow toot went in2 a sml houz & found seven cute toots living dere.asking y dey r dere?dey replied,"we once belonged 2 an owner hu wanted 2 get rid of us.So 1 dae,we flew away 2 find tis houz 2 live in.Can we b ur toots?u look nice.."Snow toot agreed,so she installed dem in her area.
After da queen installed her toot,she had 12 toots.she asked da mirror,"mirror,mirror on da wall,hu has da most toots of all galz?"da mirror replied<'Snow toot leads with 14."da queen so sooo angry she set out 2 find snow toot in da hut.Disguised as an old lady,she gave snow toot 2 eat a poisoed apple,& when snow toot fainted,she chopped of all 14 toot & installed dem in2 her own.shenow had 26 toots.
A prince passing by saw snow toot & lvb her.he gave her 50 toots coz da prince got 150 toots.so now snow toot had 50 toots & da prince got 100.after all toots were installed,Snow toot woke up & lived happily eva after wif da prince(well,tis pharse MUZ b included in all fairy tales,rite?).da witch?she asked da mirror hu had da most toots,da mirror said snow toot had 50,she fainted & died.(all villians Muz die rite?so tis died by fainting)all her 26 toots found snow toot & instaled bak @ her.snow toot now had 76 toots.fr 7 2 76...WOW!4 ur info,all guys hav @ least 100 toots,da least in history had 82.their toots r layered lyk..u noe...bananas when they r not plucked fr da tree.kk?Happily eva after???

/

2005-05-30T11:58:00.000+08:00

PORN RESEARCHER'S FUN PORN FACTS:Do u noe tt boiz "toots" muz b kept above body temperature?if not...dey might not b able 2 celebrate Fathers' day!LOLZ!as da researcher,i experimented on tis guy,i force his toot into da freezer & bribed him 2 stay there 4 3 daes 2 nites.of coz i will kip da varibles same & diff.anotha guy was kept above body temp 4 da same no. of daes,& 4 yrs later he was able 2 ...erm....while da otha guy hu had frozen sperms...his sperms was sooo hard tt it was stuck....there.@ da blackforest his failure in life....he onli got himself 2 blame.....hu ask him 2 b ma experiment item?[i thot i ask him 1?wadeva]so...ttz ma fun fact!tootz MUZ b kept above body temp 2 get beta results!JUZ a tip 2 u GUYS out there.ani GUY out there wanna b ma nxt experiment item?i wanna c da cross-section of toots.LOLZZhahahahaha!!!

Bye Bye?

2005-05-26T14:52:00.000+08:00

2dae finished da eng project game thingy.teacher said ours was da CURRENTLY best she eva seen.Boo YA!::happy::
tis may b da last tym i m updating...coz of ma exam marks,ma dad may not lyk it so...canot online ani more ::sad:: hav 2 say i more joke(porn):ADVERTISMENT:New semen flavoured instant noodles,bound 2 bring da "life" outta U!wonder y ish semen called semen?mayb after siemens mobile(duno how 2 spell)!lolz!try it! da latest pop food in da f&b market!& try our sperm juice 2!Home-tradition-made.Very da delicious 1.u will regret it if u dun try!!!!Yoz every1!OUR NEW PRODUCTS R 4 SALE NOW!!!HURRY!!!WHILE STOCKS LAST!
nice?Funnie?PpPp may b retiring ::sad::....may not oso.50:50 lah.lets juz hope i can online again...::hopeful::Bye....*sob*

2005-05-19T18:07:00.000+08:00

Porn President wants 2 tok:Those hu wanna join tis...(mostly fr Junyuan Sec & a tiny weenie bit or none fr St hildas sec)muz let us...da 3 1st ppl 2 hav piority ova da blog.If 2 mani ppl will get confusing,so if u join doesnt mean u get da password or wad fr tis blog...juz sms or e-mail us den we can help u type ani porn jokes u tink of.k?tink its ok lar...coz 2 mani ppl will get veri confusing lah...

2005-05-17T15:37:00.000+08:00

PORN PRESIDENT OF PORN PLANET JOKE NO.2=Mr blackforest washes his blackforest by stuffing it in da toilet(i.e.bowl),adding soap,scrubbing it with those brush u use 2 clean toilets,FINALLY,flushing it.Often u cld hear him yellin,"OW!!!My toot's cuming out!"Mrs blackforest alwaes go 4 blackforeat spa & lyks 2 show off her blackforest in public coz sheoften dyes,reborn,perm her blackforest.while da blackforest kids(a boy & a gal)alwaes spent hours combing their blackforest,complaning,"mum,y carn we b lyk otha kids?we r alwaes late 4 sch!"while their mum will reply,"c wad i mean?i had advised u 2 go 4 reborning!But u said it was..embarrasing?"

2005-05-16T16:33:00.000+08:00

JOKE BY PORN PRESIDENT OF PORN PLANET NO.1:THE MINISTRY OF PORN HAS HERBY DECLARED:French Fries r now declared as French Dicks.Urm...may i order 1 packet of french dicks,EXTRA CHILLI 2 make them extra spicy.add more salt,i dun 1 da smell of ...erm... semens.lolz

Porn Researcher Writin

2005-05-13T12:40:00.000+08:00

From da dae when i was born..i knew i was porn.i knew i had da amazin ability 2 find new porn stuff & spread it.tt y i join tis club & bcame da porn researcher.i noe tt if i do not use tis power i will regret when i die & hate myself 4 life.Porn is part of ma life..i can neva live without it.if i was given a choice of being a millonaire or porness..i will choose porness as i will rather die without it.I tink unporn ppl r idiots coz they dun appreciate ma power as they dunno how powerful it is as its a natural & miracle power & i m glad i hav it.Nutin in tis world is goin 2 change ma view in porness.its so cool.if i goin 2 get married i wld choose a guy huz porn & if i can find a guy huz porner than mi & appreciate tis power tt i posses tt wld b ma goal in life.everytin i own is porn,so will b ma in-laws.i will make sure ma children r porn & spread it 2 da whole world. i will conquer tis mission till i die.if sum1 objects(or tink i m crazy)mi i will kill tt guy will ma power.i will make him regret tt he didnt join da club when his young.Till tis dae i still tink is da greatest.ma current mission is 2 change ma dull sch into a porn sch with "interestin" pics which no 1 can resist.da porn test tt we r creatin is abt porn tings was created wif ma power.its goin 2 b available soon.if u dun pass it,u will not join our grp which i ratha hav than money.(do u tink i m crappin?coz i m not)

Porn Assitant Writin

2005-05-13T12:31:00.000+08:00

Our mission is 2 spread our porn teachings everywhere!!!Hope more ppl will join our porn team!!!its excitin & u will learn new stuff such as how 2 enjoy life.U will neva regret as u laff more often!!Mani ppl hav joined liaos...so ...y heasitate?its enjoyable...a lifetym opportunity & da best of all..its free!!!u will turn into a hydropornic guy wif amazing mind of porness.As the porn assitant...i declare tt porn rule is 2 tink of porn every second 4 da rest of ur life!!!Hu can resist tis opportunity 4 life?Join now!!

EXAMSSS OVA!!!

2005-05-11T12:03:00.000+08:00

HIEE!!!!ma exams ova liaos!!Super Happy...butz...cannot go out coz dun hav spare cash but anyways...later goin 2 badminton wif mum.From last wk up till tis wk,i studied lyk siaow...go 2 ma space oso @ http://spaces.msn.com/members/wadevakelly/ as ttz is ma personal 1..tis 1 got a few other ppl sharing lorz...4 ma eng & Cl,both
paper 1 & paper 2 i feel lyk DYING coz i anyhow write 1. 4 de others i feel quite ok lorz... ...lolzLit siaow 1 coz 5 questions onli nid 1hr15min?but realli,i 1 question write half a page liaos,neva sp pro b4...hahaz...got nutin 2 do lorz,veri de siaoz 2dae,ma frenz all go tm onli i neva go,i bet i onli gal in class hu neva go out aft exams *sad case*but later goin bad wad..wif mum not
wif frenz...

2005-04-20T15:07:00.000+08:00

HIEE!!!1st tym writin tis blog thing...wanna b neat....so...i m Kelly-PornPresidentofPornPlanet,and 2 other pple will b sharin tis...they r porn researcher & porn assistant...dey will write in tis blog later..so biiee!!!!